I have so many thoughts going around in my head, whenever I sit down at my computer. I hardly know where to begin. I know earlier in the week, I sounded hopeful that I would adjust to my new schedule, that I would find the time to blog, and things would go on like they were.
And then I find myself wondering what’s the point. I can’t find the time to blog. I can’t find the time to read. And I find myself without the interest in much of anything to do with the computer, blogging, or read. I can’t seem to find The Sparrow interesting, NOT for lack of trying. Tiny Beautiful Things only holds my attention for about 1 story. I’m enjoying Will Storr vs. the Supernatural, yet here I am, as I have been for a couple of hours, goofing off on the internets instead of reading.
I can’t decide if it’s the beginnings of a slump, dissatisfaction with what I’m reading, or just a general life malaise.
And now, after Andi’s post yesterday, I almost didn’t even write this up. Because I can’t even find it in me to blog. I have two half-reviews written and I didn’t care to finish them up. Because who cares. No one reads them. My hits have plunged in the last few years. I do good to break 100 hits a day now. I’m boring. Blogging is boring. I don’t want reading to become boring too.
I’m not sure where this train of thought is leading. That’s a lie. Yes, I do. It sounds like I want to quit, doesn’t it?
I don’t really want to quit. But I’m not sure I want to keep going the way I’m going. And no, I’m not looking for comments. I just needed to get this out. See, even at this point, I wonder what is the point in posting even this? Does anyone even care? I may NOT even post this, but just for the moment, let my brain purge, because it needs to. It needs to find the reason, the desire, the POINT, of continuing on. I know I would miss it. I know I would still read other blogs.
Maybe I just need a break.