The Brain Needs to Purge

I have so many thoughts going around in my head, whenever I sit down at my computer. I hardly know where to begin. I know earlier in the week, I sounded hopeful that I would adjust to my new schedule, that I would find the time to blog, and things would go on like they were.

And then I find myself wondering what’s the point. I can’t find the time to blog. I can’t find the time to read. And I find myself without the interest in much of anything to do with the computer, blogging, or read. I can’t seem to find The Sparrow interesting, NOT for lack of trying. Tiny Beautiful Things only holds my attention for about 1 story. I’m enjoying Will Storr vs. the Supernatural, yet here I am, as I have been for a couple of hours, goofing off on the internets instead of reading.

What gives?

I can’t decide if it’s the beginnings of a slump, dissatisfaction with what I’m reading, or just a general life malaise.

And now, after Andi’s post yesterday, I almost didn’t even write this up. Because I can’t even find it in me to blog. I have two half-reviews written and I didn’t care to finish them up. Because who cares. No one reads them. My hits have plunged in the last few years. I do good to break 100 hits a day now. I’m boring. Blogging is boring. I don’t want reading to become boring too.

I’m not sure where this train of thought is leading. That’s a lie. Yes, I do. It sounds like I want to quit, doesn’t it?

I don’t really want to quit. But I’m not sure I want to keep going the way I’m going. And no, I’m not looking for comments. I just needed to get this out. See, even at this point, I wonder what is the point in posting even this? Does anyone even care? I may NOT even post this, but just for the moment, let my brain purge, because it needs to. It needs to find the reason, the desire, the POINT, of continuing on. I know I would miss it. I know I would still read other blogs.

Maybe I just need a break.

19 thoughts on “The Brain Needs to Purge

  1. One word, evolution. Everything changes. Allow yourself to be happy as change happens. I’ve only been doing this 6 years and I’ve been up and down. Hobbies should be fun. Hugs!

  2. Oh Heather I feel the same – about blogging in general. There are so many things which frustrate me about it… including the good old comparison trap.

    Book blogging is still pretty new to me so I don’t mind that, but the rest of it…. #meh

    Deb

  3. Heather, feeling the same here! I read you all the time but am guilty of not being much of a commenter. I can’t quit but it’s getting tedious to continue. You’ve got a couple of years on me, but still since 2007 is a long time to be doing the same thing.

  4. I read your and Andi’s blogs. But I’m not a big commenter, because I mostly read from my phone and sometimes writing comments from there is kind of pain in the ass.
    If you feel like taking a break, don’t push yourself. Just know that I’ll be here and read your reviews, TTTs, wrap-ups and every other post.=)

  5. Dearest Ethel.
    Be gentle with yourself! You just started a new job. If you need a break, take it! I would be sad to see you completely disappear, but I’m comforted knowing that I have a plethora of ways to stalk you beyond blogging. Just an FYI, the crazy old broad with a walker who shows up on your front porch demanding that we learn to play Mahjong will be me. Don’t call the cops.
    Your Affectionate,
    Mildred

  6. Oh, I can relate to this. I have been blogging half-heartedly for months (if not years) and I feel the same most of the time. Comments down, visits down, enthusiasm firmly down in the dumps. But I love reading and I still have no one to talk to … and I don’t want to give it up, not really.

    I would echo being gentler on yourself and don’t forget that people *are* reading, even if some of us are lurkers.

  7. I want to reach through the internet and give you a giant hug. I totally echo Katie and Andi and hate to see you being so hard on yourself. I think that blogging will call you back if you take a break for a bit and we’ll all still be here (super excited to see what you have to share).

  8. I love Mildred errr Katie’s advice above. ((hug)) And you know… I feel boring on the blog front most of the time, too. I’ve stopped watching my hits. I can’t even remember the last time I looked to see how well a post is doing, or how many visitors I’ve had, etc. It’s made for happier Monika blogging, that’s for sure.

  9. Do you think there’s some kind of post-big-change blues? I just started a new job and moved to a new city, things I was (and am!) very excited about, but I’ve also been very frustrated and sad lately for reasons I haven’t been able to articulate.

  10. Oh Heather darlin’…why why why are you being so hard on yourself? Sweetie, take a break if that feels right. Or even if it might help. I hope *so hard* that you don’t decide to quit blogging, but absolutely do it if it’s what you need. I think it’s too soon to make that decision though. You’ve started a new job (which YAY!) so you’re still adjusting to a new normal. I think you’ve just got to give yourself some time. Be patient with yourself. Just do what feels right, and if what feels right from day to day is totally different–who cares! And Sweetie, while you’re trying to get this all figured out, please keep something in mind: you are so loved by so many people! Goodness knows, I sure love you to pieces!!! *many many hugs*

  11. When even my Sunday post gets almost no comments, I begin wondering the same thing – is anyone out there? It’s your blog; take a break from it for a while. See what shakes out. Adjust to your new life. Which may or may not include blogging.

  12. I stopped looking at my stats at all about three years ago. I don’t know if anyone comes to read my posts unless I get comments (which I don’t get as often as I would want) but it helps me to not worry so much. Also, I’ve finally given myself permission to not review every book I read. When I’m not forcing myself to write about books that frankly weren’t that interesting, it takes some pressure off.
    I hope you find your way back to blogging happily, whether it’s soon or not. The happily is the key thing. 🙂

  13. I’ve read your blog for years . . . thank you for all your thoughtful posts and reviews. If you decide to stop or take a break, I’ll miss reading what you have to say, but I know sometimes you have to take a break from projects or stop them entirely in order to be happy and healthy. Just wanted you to know that I’m a fan (a quiet fan).

  14. Yep, been there done that! And I’ve only been blogging since the beginning of the year, so to be burned out on the whole blogging thing already is kind of embarrassing :p But, I evaluated how I was blogging and more importantly, WHY I was blogging. From there I decided to restructure my blog and I’ve made some changes (new title, new categories, no longer labeling myself a ‘book’ blog etc). This was just what I needed and I’ve found the fun in blogging again 🙂

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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